Two weeks later on Chris’s birthday:

Pat– “Thanks for the remote control toenail clippers. They’re just what I need.”
Chris– “You’re welcome, I just knew you’d love them!”
Pat (thinking to self) – “How come I never get anything I really want like new bath towels or fuzzy slippers?”

You may have been raised with the Rolling Stones’ philosophy of desire: You can’t always get what you want. But is that really true? Sometimes. The lyrics they left out were know what you want in the first place- which can ultimately get you at least more of what you want in the long run.

So many people are so averse to expressing their wants and needs that they don’t even know what they are. They live each day afraid to be seen as pushy or aggressive, so instead of getting in touch with their wants and learning to express them constructively. Instead, they hide behind “I don’t know”, “Whatever you want” and “You decide, I don’t care either way”.

Learning how to get what you want is simple, although not always easy. As you experience self-improvement and inner growth, keep a list of what you really want. It doesn’t matter what it is, it matters that you write it down and allow yourself to want it. The only "rule" here is that it must be initiated and maintained by you -- in other words, the want can't be dependent on someone or something else doing or behaving in a particular way. Saying "I want a million dollars” leaves you in control of initiating behaviors that can move you in the direction of getting that outcome, where as saying “I want he or she to give me a million dollars” puts it on someone else.

You Want It

It’s okay. You’re not selfish or self-centered, you’re just acknowledging what you want.

So ask. Be honest and assertive, but don’t apologize.  If you need to act, act. You may not get exactly what you want, but each time you ask you will gain self-confidence and feel better about yourself. Sometimes you may even find, that what you thought you wanted isn't what you really wanted and that what you end up getting fulfills you in a way that you hadn't thought possible.

And lastly....

Here is a really valuable secret that can truely transform your life: the quality of what you want will always be dependent on the way you are “being” at the moment you are aware of it. In other words, when you are aware that life is full of possibilities and that everything is flowing, like when you're "in the zone" (whatever that means to you) - your wants will be entirely different than when you're aware of being disconnected, alone and perceiving your life as a problem that needs to be solved.

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